Proposal

Megan Fett
English 111
Joe Griffin
November 13, 2008
Proposal
For this assignment, I plan to write a short story. The story itself is actually a personal experience that changed my life, so it is much easier to write about having been through it. Although many would find it hard to write about, I actually find it rather soothing, as sick as it sounds. My story is of a death I experienced in the family and the twists and turns that my family and I had to go through to understand and make sense of the whole situation.
The best way to approach this is to write the short story in the form of a journal or diary. I want to do a day by day play of what is going on. A story is not meant to leave bit and pieces out, so by making the story go through every day I feel the reader will actually become involved. Also, I feel by writing a journal, which means it will be written in first person, it will be more relatable.
My intended audience of this piece will be for any person who enjoys a dramatic story. I suppose to will be more directed at people who need to understand the experience of a death. At the end of my journal, it will be clear there is a moral to the story. It is one many people always hear:
“Live each day to the fullest” and “Tell people how much you love them everyday”
I know this is common a common moral to a story, but I feel since it will be written in first person, straight from the source, people will understand and connect to the piece more.
The purpose for the project was already stated, but basically I want to make people understand the tragedy of death and the positives you can take from it. Not everything has to be horrible. I believe there is something more that people have to dig for to find.

Just Walk On By

I thought the essay, “Just Walk On By”, was very nicely written. The way Staples explained everything, but showed no resentment made the story stronger. If he would have been angry at the fact he was perceived as a bad person, I think I would feel like he is just complaining and he should get over it. However, since he is so calm about explaining himself, it makes me feel for him and for how unfairly he is judged.
It is just absolutely crazy to me to think that people would assume that he is a mugger, rapist, murderer, or anything else just because he is a young, black man. I would like to think of myself as a better person than that and not let myself form those ideas, but I don’t know if I would be able to control my thinking if I was alone in a dark street with someone. I know that sounds horrible, but I am sure many people would be able to agree it would be difficult to think very positive when it’s late and dark and someone is creeping along behind you. However, I do not think I would only form those ideas if the person following me was a black man. If I was alone at night and someone of any color, size, and age would be following me, I would probably pick of my pace regardless.
I can’t believe how fast people jump to conclusions! When Staples rushed into an office of the magazine he was turning in an article for, people automatically assume he was a burglar. Also, when entering the jewelry store, the woman quickly leave to retrieve her dog to scare Staples off. I am totally baffled but how insecure people in a big city are, but I suppose living in a very small town in which I know everyone, it is hard to think anything bad would happen.
Overall, I really liked this piece and I admire Staples for the way he handles himself. He is a very caring man, willing to do anything to make people feel more comfortable around him; the whistling is a very good tactic. I like how he approached the piece using the whole idea of being able to create space. It took the writing in a different angle rather than just writing about how he scares people and stories along with it. He was able to show how just his appearance could create space between him and someone else.

Rhetorical Analysis

For my rhetorical analysis, I’m going to look into the speech at the end of “To Kill a Mockingbird”. The speech is of Atticus Finch making closing statements about Tom Robinson’s innocence in his trial. I really liked this speech because it showed passion and I’ve read the book before, although it has been a while.
Right away I could see pathos at play, making everyone feel sorry for Tom. Finch is able to make a strong argument and make people feel bad about accusing him. Also, he supports many of his statements with facts, so it shows logos.

Logical Fallacy

Logical Fallacy
The example of a fallacy that I found was in a Hallmark commercial (“Hallmark required reading” on youtube.com). It is about an older man who can’t read, so he goes to a reading specialist and slowly learns how to read. As he goes through it he gets frustrated, but continues to push through. Finally, the teacher tells him he is ready to be on his own. After his last session he goes home and gets into an old shoe box in the closet. From the shoe box he pulls out a Hallmark Father’s Day Card. For the first time he reads a very touching card from either his daughter or granddaughter.
This commercial is an example of the fallacy Ad Misericordian. This is a commercial filled with pathos. It is used to show that a Hallmark card is worth going through all the trouble to learn how to read, just so someone can read the card. Also, that Hallmark is the best way to show someone that they care. This fallacy works because most people melt when a little girl send her father or grandfather a cute card filled with love. For this commercial, it was probably the best way to approach it.

McCormicks Residence Halls

McCormick’s “Residence Halls”
Everyone has their own opinions on dorm rooms. And everyone is able to make it just fine in the living conditions. I think incoming freshman can see past most of what a brochure says. Most students know if they select random roommate that they might not get to color coordinate their room and have the happiest of living conditions. However, because they know this already they should already have an idea of how living is going to be; crowded, annoying at times, and a new, crazy experience.
I think McCormick makes many valid points, but I think she blows it all a little out of proportion. I understand that in order to make her opinion on residence halls clear, she needed to dig in on every little piece of information she could get. She tore the brochure apart, which for this paper, was necessary. At times I wanted to tell her to shut up; this is a part of college, so suck it up. As a freshman, we may not be prepared for it all, but we know about the living conditions. Because of that, the brochure needs to do all possible to make it sound better. Also, its only as good as you make it. So maybe if she would have talked with her roommate ahead of time, she could have personalized the room. There may be many cops around, but I think if anything shady went on around her, she would fully appreciate it. And at time, she may have wanted to kill someone because she was so annoyed, but that’s life. There is always something that bugs the crap out of you, but you ignore it and move on.
Overall, the paper did a good job pointing out the types of rhetoric in the brochure. However, as I said before, I think she blew the whole thing out of proportion. I mean, even after this whole paper she is still living in a dorm for her sophomore year, so she must of not took too much out of how false the brochure was, but she told us not to judge her for that, so I won’t. As for me, I think living in a dorm isn’t that horrible, it’s part of the freshman experience. I mean, if I had a choice, I would get an apartment or house on or around campus, but now sophomore must live in dorms. So I will just go with the flow and enjoy and will let the brochures keep me excited for next year.

Thick Description

Never Sleeping Place
I enter into a different world filled with life, sweat, and constant movement. Tables, chairs, and couches are around the center for onlookers like me or for people needing a rest after an intense workout. Once I set, I begin to see the world break into individual parts, each having their own purpose.
In the background, wooden floors shine from the glow of fluorescent lights. Each floor is perfectly lined with blue, red, and yellow paint. These floors form three rectangle courts for basketball; I can hear and see parts of pick-up games being played. The sound of basketballs and squeaky shoes fill the gym. Right beside the courts is another enclosed floor with different lines and goals at each end. This court is made for those who would rather play a game with their feet instead of their hands. However, soccer floor stays empty, still, and silent.
Now concentrating on what is ahead of me, I see a giant tan colored wall. The wall is filled with colorful grips jutting out and hooks hanging limp, waiting to be used. The wall has different markings indicating which is a more intense climb or an easier course for beginners. The rock wall stays empty for now, waiting for a climber to take on the challenge.
Above, I hear more squeaking of tennis shoes and steady footsteps. Runners make their way around the track following different paces. The track is set up with four lanes; the inner two lanes are meant for slower paced running or walking and the outer two lanes are faster paced. A digital clock displays large red numbers indicating the time, helping the runners keep track of how long they have been running. Mats are placed at both ends of the track for those runners needing a relaxing stretch or an extra abs workout.
I can only see a glimpse of the other worlds. Elliptical machines are being used as well as different weights being lifted. I can just make out the sound of a ping pong ball being bounced back and forth. Also, I smell a trace of chlorine in the air that drifted over from the pool. I can understand the importance of this place. The recreation center provides all different resources to accommodate all types of athletes, active college students, and local residents. This place is a world that is always filled with constant movement and life, never taking a nap.

My Writing

As a young writer, everything put on paper seemed to be correct. I was happy just to have put any words down at all. As I grew in my writing, I began to realize how many factors can influence a piece of writing. First and foremost is the obvious grammar and punctuation, which can sometimes make or break a paper. However, after all the grammar and punctuation, the writer must ask themselves if everything they put down was only to fill a page or was it actually saying something.
One teacher stands out of my mind that helped more than one student become a better writer. She helped students realize their strengths and weaknesses, where they should focus, and how their work needs to flow. One of my personal struggles in writing is having all the points or thoughts of a paper flow. I seem to have a jumble of everything I want to write in my mind and it all comes out jumbled in the paper. I feel like I have so much to say, but when I put it all down at once, the reader will not be able to understand it.
Since I am a seemingly jumbled mess, my favorite form of writing has always been journaling. It is the easiest way for me to express myself freely, without feeling like I have a limit on what I am supposed to write or what point I am to get across. If journaling was not an option, my next choice would be to write a story. Even though a story is stricter as to what I can write, it still gives my mind the freedom to express itself through different characters and make all my disorderly words a story. A story might have more of an impact on someone because they might be able to relate.
Overall, I enjoy opening my mind and writing. I am willing to try different methods. Even though some methods make take more time, they can turn out beautiful. And I may find myself liking something new. Also, by trying these different methods, it may help discipline my mind and make more sense as I put my words down.